I was finally learning to love school. I was finally enjoying my classes. I was finally understanding how important it was to be myself around my classmates.
Then - BAM. Covid19 hit Canada just as we were let out for March Break. I was at a gas station in the States when I found out that after March Break was finished, we would not have to go to school for 2 weeks, which at the time seemed CrAzY. While I was in the States I found out that anyone that had left the country would have to do a mandatory self-isolation for 2 weeks. I put two and two together and realized that I wouldn't be able to go home and see my family for two weeks (I wasn't travelling with my direct family). I held on to the sliver of hope that we would be back in school after two weeks, but that sliver of hope got even smaller after the province went into lock down. Two weeks turned into 4, then 6, then 8 weeks. As I am writing this, Ontario has been in lock down for 8 weeks, and things are slowly starting to open up again... but not my school.
School officials have decided to keep school closed and studies online till the end of the school year.
When my mom read the email out loud, I felt this sense of disappointment come over me. Just when school had started to be a little fun, just when I had all the best classes and the best schedule, just when I had tasted what it meant to enjoy school, it got cancelled.
We are doing school from home (called "crisis-schooling" for the record, not "home-schooling"), but it really isn't the same. Zoom meetings just aren't the same as sitting in a classroom. Google classroom isn't the same as a teacher writing the class agenda on the white board. Google Form tests just aren't the same as handing in a stack of papers full of your handwriting. Most likely all of my exams will be from home. This school year just ended up so different from what I was expecting.
I've decided to learn two lessons from this, and I want to share them with you.
Firstly, I've learned that God's plan is not my plan. If it was up to me, I would be in school right now, doing the normal things. But, God had different plans. And I have to trust that He knows best.
Secondly, I've realized that maybe God has given us this time to sort of re-group and re-evaluate. Without the added stress of school and a rigid schedule, I have been able to focus a LOT on self-improvement. That is how this whole thing started! The story of how this started will have to wait till another day, but seriously I needed this time to do big things.
Of course I am still disappointed that this year has taken some unexpected turns, but by accepting where I am, I have been able to move past the disappointment and be productive for God's glory.
What kind of disappointments have you had to face during these uncertain times?